Vaginal shrinking creams have been making headlines lately with their disturbing product names and overall sheer creepiness. These creams claim to make a woman’s nether-regions feel tighter after internal application, thanks to the swelling effects of potassium alum — an ingredient commonly found in deodorant.
So, this is a super creepy thing that exists: Female enhancement products. A recent Daily Mail article detailed the rise of “vaginal shrinking creams” — that’s right, we’re talking about a creamy substance applied directly to a woman’s lady-parts that will supposedly make her feel virgin-tight again.
Ew… just ew.
To make matters even worse, these creams don’t seem to be FDA approved (surprise, surprise).
These tightening serums are meant to be applied internally just before a woman engages in sexual activity. Post-application, the walls of the vagina swell and become engorged, making the woman’s genitals feel tighter during intercourse. What component is responsible for this magic? Glad you asked: The product’s potassium alum compound, an ingredient you might find in a stick of deodorant, causes the shrinking sensation, allowing women of all ages to feel “18 Again” (that’s a real product name, FYI).
The target audience for these products seems to be women who have had one or more children, as well as men with packages that happen to be on the smaller side. If for any reason you feel the need to investigate these creams further, try Googling “Liquid Virgin” or “Crazy Girl Wanna Be Tight Shrink Cream,” then come back here and tell me it didn’t make you feel like a bit of a creep (ladies, this goes for you too).
According to Amazon reviews, the products (kind of) work, but it doesn’t sound like the costs outweigh the benefits. Not only did female reviewers complain about “irritation and uncomfortable aggravation” after use, a male review claimed that the shrinking effect wasn’t limited to his partner’s genitals. “Yeah, shrink, shrank, shrunk. Except not even Dr. Seuss can make this funny. She says she’ll never leave me, but now she calls me Peanut to all her friends.”
So, all things considered, you should probably stay far, far away from these concoctions — trust me, there are a million better ways to improve your sex life.