You’re worse in bed: 10 ways to repair it

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Don’t skip foreplay

You may be ready to go the second you get home, but you have to remember, sex is mostly mental for women. They have to be warmed up, physically and mentally. Most women not only enjoy foreplay, but we need it in order to get aroused before actual intercourse. Foreplay can even start hours before you’re through the door. Send her a text about how much you can’t wait to see her or how beautiful she looked this morning. Then when you get home kiss and care’s her before you start taking her clothes off. Foreplay isn’t a suggestion; it’s a requirement for most women.

Just go down on her

Go down on her like you mean it. If you really want her to enjoy sex, then you need to enjoy performing oral sex on her. Just like nothing is sexier than a woman who enjoys giving a blow job, nothing is sexier than a man who enjoys giving oral pleasure. Only about 25 to 30% of women orgasm through intercourse, and most of these women need (and likely want) clitoral stimulation in addition to intercourse.

Touch her after sex

If you’re not someone who likes to touch after sex, start off small and make some kind of physical contact a normal part of your after-sex routine. Scratch her back for a little while and lay a little closer than normal. Once you’ve scratched her back for a while, move on to a closer touch. Cuddling after sex will bring the two of you closer together. The most successful relationships have ties to after-sex cuddling, according to new research out of the University of Toronto—Mississauga. The way you approach your partner after sex is really important to how you approach your relationship in general.

Try something new

Set aside your fears and replace them with passion. Sex is awkward; you’re getting naked with another person and putting yourself in the most intimate setting possible. There will be embarrassing moments and there will be things that go wrong, but making mistakes is better than not doing anything at all.

Allow the passion of what you are experiencing to take over the fear of doing something wrong. I guarantee your partner will find your passionate mistakes much sexier than your flat routine.

You’re basing her pleasure on your performance

If you’re too busy thinking about your own performance, you won’t think to ask your partner what she actually wants, and you won’t be able to learn how to actually make her orgasm. A confident man will ask for direction and will learn what his partner wants.

Just asked her what she likes

Every woman is different, so you should approach every woman differently. Once you’re getting to the point of intimacy with a woman, it’s time to ask her what she likes. She may be making noises to let you know she likes something you’re doing, but there could be something she really wants you to do that she would tell you about if you just asked.

A woman is not a secret combination box in which you have to figure out the code, simply ask her and she’ll gladly let you know what she likes.

She hasn’t made a peep

Before things heat up, let her know that it really turns you on when she tells you what she likes, and what she wants. Then ask her if there was anything she especially liked, anything she would want more of or what she would like you to do differently.

She’s overacting

Let her know that it really makes you hot hearing that she is enjoying herself, but that you would like to know what specific things feel best for her.

You’re not addressing the obvious

The problem: You have some penis problems in the bedroom, but you never address them. Talk to her about it. It’s already the elephant in the room and she notices that you’re not staying hard for long, experiencing premature Ejaculation, or you just can’t Ejaculate at all delayed Ejaculation. Women are not as worried about this issue as you are, that is, until you completely ignore it, or worse, just let it happen and then roll over and fall asleep without giving a second thought to pleasing her. Let her know that this happens to you sometimes, and it doesn’t mean you’re not attracted to her or you’re unaware there is an issue. Tell her you’re working on it.

She told you she doesn’t Orgasm EVERY time

The Rule of thumb: she comes first. Make sure that she is always pleased before you are. That way you can still have your happy ending knowing that she had her needs met as well. Many men assume that just because they were satisfied, and she didn’t say anything afterwards, you had the green light to roll over and go to sleep. If you’re not sure if she had an Orgasm, she probably didn’t. And if you’ve never given any thought to her Orgasm at all, you’ve got bigger problems. Just because you asked her once or twice if she was satisfied and she says something like. Make sure that even if you’ve already released, you muster up the strength to please her whether it’s with your fingers, mouth, or a sex toy. She’ll know that her satisfaction is important to you, and will feel more relaxed during intercourse knowing that if she doesn’t climax before you do, she’ll still have fun with you afterwards.

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